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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

 

JV Losman, R.I.P.

1) JP was JV, and the Bills imploded in their loss to the Jags. But what about that Fred Jackson? The brothers like what they've seen. FJ is mini-beast mode.

2) Riley's heading in for his "adjustment of status interview" this week. Gerard Depardieu, eat your heart out. Or something like that.

3) Bennett's new baby arrived a month early, and everyone except for old man grandpa is psyched. And if you're wondering, the west coast Wide Right Radio correspondent was there to see it all. Business end.

4) No question the Sean Taylor incident is tragic, but the brothers are more focused on Taylor's weapon of choice: the machete. Sweet.

5) The Bills head to the nation's capital for a showdown with the Skins. Will Marshawn be back in the line-up? Will Trent Edwards make a difference? Will the Bills hang around in the playoff race for yet another week?

Monday, November 19, 2007

 

Belichick to Bills: Take That

1) When you lose by forty-six points, there aren't a lot of guys who brought their nuts. The straps, however, are aplenty.

2) At 5-5, the Bills are sitting on the edge of the playoff race. But do they even belong in such talk? Is this a good team, one worthy of praise following a four game win streak? Or is this a bad team, one rightfully disrobed on national television?

3) Jauron's already named Losman the starter for next week. While Riley's been done with JP for a few weeks now, Bennett's willing to give the kid one more shot down in Florida before pulling the plug for good.

4) With the Bills getting blown out in the second half, the brothers both found time to do a few things around the house. Sesame Street, anyone?

5) Thanksgiving's coming up, and neither brother is too pleased. Bennett's headed for an afternoon of Honest Abe and shit salad, while Riley's preparing for a day of leisurely chick-flick viewing. The horror.

6) Buffalo goes to Jacksonville to face a tough team looking to solidify its hold on a playoff spot. Can JP, in what might be his last shot in the saddle, nut it up, or will JP be JV and send the Bills into a late season slide?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

 

Beast Mode Squishes Fish

1) Marshawn Lynch yet again went into "beast mode," handing the Dolphins another cruel defeat. While the brothers acknowledge the beast's stellar performance, they wonder why the old JV Losman decided to rear his ugly head. Even the brothers' dear old mom was horrified by the California kid's performance.

2) Miami could be headed for sixteen straight losses, while New England's could be headed for sixteen straight wins. Who will achieve perfection? Riley's convinced The Pats will get there, while Bennett's sure Miami has a goose egg in its sights.

3) Last year an assistant coach for the Detroit Lions got busted for rolling naked through a Wendy's drive through. Did the story end there? Nah. It just keeps getting better. Listen in for the details.

4) Miami defensive tackle Fred Weary was tasered (or is it "tased?") by police during a traffic dispute. Now Mr. Weary is suing, claiming something about how it didn't feel so good to get juiced with a couple hundred thousand volts. The brothers don't want to hear it. They like tasers. So should you.

5) The undefeated Patriots come into Buffalo for a nationally televised night game. Unfortunately for the Bills, beast mode will be relegated to towel waving from the sideline. Yeah, bummer. Yet somehow, Bennett still thinks the Bills will pull this one off. Do you believe in miracles? Yes!

Monday, November 05, 2007

 

Smash-Mouth Football

1) The Bills scored an impressive victory over Chad Johnson and the Bengals on Sunday. Somehow, Riley and Bennett dole out the strap to a dude who scored on a 101 yard return. Confused? Hang in there.

2) Adrian Peterson has another gear, but Marshawn Lynch has "beast mode." Just what exactly is beast mode and what does it mean for the brothers? Listen in for the details.

3) JP had one of his best games as a Bill, but did he do enough to win back his job? Riley's convinced it's Edwards's team, while Bennett thinks JP could make a strong case for himself with a win over the Pats in two weeks. But will he even be playing in that game?

4) Chad Johnson talked some smack, dropped a bunch of balls, then got carted off the field complaining of neck pain and reaching for the Icy/Hot. Was the injury legit, or was the king of trash talk just faking it?

5) Some crappy ass driving school is using Bennett's driveway to instruct beginning drivers on the finer points of the three point turn. Not cool.

6) The Bills head to Miami to face a desperate, winless Dolphin team.Can the Bills stay hot and put up their fourth "W" in a row, or will the fish bring the boys from Buffalo back to reality?

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Bennett
When he's not writing, or cringing over a rank diaper, you can find Bennett in his LA backyard with a six pack of PBR, ruminating on today's most significant issues, such as how does Magic Shell ice cream topping really work, what happened to Darick Holmes, and why does Bennett's cat insist on crapping in the bathtub.

Riley
After spending three years in soccer-loving country, Riley craves his Bills fix. Every Sunday you can find him at McFadden's in DC.

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