1) Riley reports in after two months of marriage: No changes except for a funky wedding ring. Listen to the brother commiserate and Bennett offers some not-so PC advice.

2) The Rochester D&C posed 11 questions to start the Bills season. Riley dons his crystal cock ring and tries to predict the future.

3) The start of training camp is usually all snores, but the Buffalo News decided to spice it up. As good as Time Magazine making OJ "blacker"? Not quite.

4) Vick. Vick. Vick. That's all you hear from the sports pages nowadays. The brothers yearn for the yesteryears of drug addiction and DUIs and Bennett offers up a unique punishment Michael "I like to kill innocent animals" Vick.

5) ESPN's been tossing the Bills in the rankings cellar. How can the Bills climb out? Are the playoffs in their future?