Wide Right Radio

Brothers Give Bills Thumbs Up

2011-10-29T10:56:00.000-04:00

1) The brothers are back doling out nuts and straps. Fred "The Head" Jahttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifckson is on their list. No surprise there; the guy's nick-name is THE HEAD!

2) Are the Bills destined for the playoffs or just destined to go 8-8 after a hot start? Playoffs? PLAYOFFS???

3) The Bills D has been somewhere between bad and mediocre. So which is it? The brothers debate.

4) Buffalo boy Ron Gronkowski had his photo with some taken with some B-list porn star. Riley feels strongly that Gronko should have realized he's a role model and skipped the photo op. Bennett's just glad Porno Ron has gotten some little kids started early on the whole masturbating thing.

5) Riley cut off half his thumb in a horrific radish-chopping accident. Will he survive? Please, no donations.

6) The Bills head to Toronto to play the Skins in front of a listless, Canadian crowd. Will they bring it enough to bring down the Skins?

Eagles Predictions

2011-10-09T12:45:00.003-04:00

With the Brothers once again unavailable, here's our predictions for the game.

Bennett: Eagles 31, Bills 27.

Riley: Bills 31, Eagles 27. I admit, I saw Bennett's prediction, so I'm tweaking him a bit. I think that he's right that it'll be a high scoring game. Neither defense has proven any ability to stop an opposing offense. The speed on the Eagles offense gives me pause, as does every single passer's ability to exploit the Bills' lack of a pass rush and inept secondary. But Vick's status as a running QB may benefit the Bills since the Bills have already shown they can't defend against prototypical pocket passers. The Eagles will bring a big pass rush, much like Cincinnati. The Bills must find a way to be effective in the face of the rush. Short passes. Get Nelson open. Use Chandler. I think the Bills have learned from last weeks' loss. They won't let it happen again.

Bengals Predictions

2011-10-02T11:58:00.005-04:00

With the Brothers yet again slacking, here are our predictions.

Riley: Bills 24, Bengals 17. Here's what scares me about this match-up, and it's not this whole "trap game" idea. This team has been through too much to take Cincinnati lightly. The Bengals have a very strong offensive line. The Bills line has been playing out of its mind, by some metrics the best in the league. That's not going to last and the Bengals can bring pressure from all over the place. Fitzpatrick has always been known as a streaky QB and, if like last year, he throws a bunch of picks, the Bills could find themselves down very quickly. But here's what I like: Cincinnati's stadium provides almost no home-field advantage, beyond Hall the secondary is not much to write home about compared with the Bills' depth at WR, Cincinnati's WRs have not yet shown the ability to victimize a weak secondary such as ours, and a rookie QB combined with a mediocre rushing attack give the Bills pass rush the year's first opportunity to tee off. Compared to the first three games of the season, I expect this to be a defensive battle that the Bills win.

I'll post Bennett's prediction when he wakes up. Lazy bum. Edit: Bennett's prediction: Bills 24, Bengals 21. Riley's Comment: And this is why we're related.

Pats Predictions

2011-09-25T11:37:00.002-04:00

In the name of transparency, here are the Brothers' predictions for today's game. Bennett predicts the Pats 31-Bills 17. Riley says Bills 35-Pats 31.

Here's what I'm thinking, other than a blatant desire to be a contrarian. Are the Bills likely to win this game? No. The Pats have a decade of success in their coach and quarterback, who at the outset of the 2011 season seem to be at the top of their game. The Bills have 2 games of this success. Moreover, the Bills victories have come against unremarkable opponents. Kansas City was promptly victimized by Detroit. Oakland won the week before against Denver, who then went on to beat Cincinnati (who is only 1-1 because they mauled the Cleveland Browns who themselves at .500 because they beat up on a hapless Colts team). Those are some objectively bad teams. Here's what I like about today's game: the Bills offense can move the football against bad defenses and New England has a bad defense. When New England loses, they tend to lose away from home. This New England team is not invincible and someone will beat this team by pressuring Brady using their front three to five linemen. I think with a good game from our OLBs and D-line, the Bills can win this one in a shootout.

Bills Opener Stroke of Genius

2011-09-15T23:20:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills went to KC and trounced the reigning AFC West division chamhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifps. Oh man was it beautiful to watch.

2) The brothers hand out the not-so-coveted "Mike Gandy Award," doled out to the Bills player most likely to suck this season.

3) Bennett has been doing a lot of traveling, and wants to know what's up with all the porn in the airport? And is there such a thing as the solo mile high club???

4) If you were heading to The Ralph, which Bills jersey would you don? Riley goes big, while Bennett goes big trouble.

5) The battery chucking Raiders come to Buffalo on Sunday. Will the upstart Bills be able to stop the Oakland running game and move to 2-0? The brothers debate.

Bills Weave in Reinforcements

2011-05-22T19:51:00.002-04:00

1) The Bills went 4-12 last season, but at this point Bennett can't even remember that. The brothers take a look back at the disappointing but entertaining 2010 campaign.

2) With the third pick in the draft, the Bills select someone who will suck. Fortunately, the Bills didn't do that this year. (Check out Michael Jasper.)

3) Tom Modrak is finally out as the head guy at One Bills Drive. Good riddance.

4) Donte Whitner, unrestricted free agent and foul-mouthed Twitter nut, is waging a war of worlds with Buffalo fans. Donte, keep up your tweets and go play for someone else.

5) This chick's weave stopped a bullet. Not much to say here other than that checking this Youtube clip will change your life.

6) The lockout. What's it mean for the NFL? What's it mean for the Bills? Let's ask a lawyer...Riley!

Bills, Bills, Bills...Ho!!!

2010-11-27T18:59:00.001-05:00

1) The Bills went to Cincinnati and bitch-slapped the toothless Bengals. Lots of guys brought their nuts, but one DB only brought his strap.

2) The Bills get a taste of the best when they face off with the Big Date Raper and the Steelers. The boys from Buffalo sure have looked good in recent weeks, but the brothers are convinced they'll be coming back to earth come Sunday.

3) After lighting up the likes of Baltimore and Cincinnati, Bills fans are wondering if Ryan Fitzgerald is the long-term answer at QB. Is he? The brothers debate.

4) Thanks to Riley's awesome gift, Bennett's kids are obsessed with the Thundercats. Who's your favorite Thundercat? It better not be Snarf.

5) Chan Gailey has this team playing hard, leaving the brothers to ponder just how good the Bills coach really is.

6) With the holiday season upon us, the brothers give a thumbs up or a thumbs down to some holiday traditions. Caroling anyone? Yeah, didn't think so.

0-7, But Bills McRibbin' Good

2010-11-06T15:08:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills lost consecutive OT games, but the brothers like what they saw.

2) The Bears meet up with the Bills in Toronto, site of some of the dullest games in Bills history. Can the Bills finally get a W over one of the most overrated teams in the NFL?

3) Buddy Nix shocked Bills fans earlier this week when he put in a claim for "Lights Out" Merriman. While he's probably only a rental, the brothers love the pick-up. And hey Maybin, you now officially suck.

4) Ryan Fitzpatrick has energized the offense over the past month, leaving the brothers to wonder if Fitz is the long-term answer at quarterback.

5) Can you imagine if you had nine kids and couldn't remember their names? Talk to Antonio Cromartie.

6) McDonald's has brought back the McRib Sandwich, and Bennett is psyched. Now have you ever heard of McRib DJ Plowman? Yeah, didn't think so.

7) The Bills could have had Randy Moss, but chose to pass on the disgruntled but talented WR. Good call? The brothers debate.

Bills in Toilet

2010-10-23T12:36:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills stunk up The Ralph again on Sunday, and the place was littered with jock-straps. Pick one.

2) What do Fruity Pebbles and porn have in common? Listen in for the scoop.

3) Beloved Beast Mode was finally shipped out of town for a fourth round draft pick. The brothers mourn his departure. Who else on the Bills is likely to get arrested for carrying a 9mm, and hit some chick with his car? The memories...

4) Dave Andreychuck (Chris Kelsey) gets a big-ass extension after proving he can't play for shit. Another brilliant decision by Bills' management. The brothers are pissed.

5) Bennett has fallen in love with what he has deemed "The Supertoilet." Oh, sweet glorious hot water on the anus.

6) The brothers guarenteee the Bills won't lose this week. As for next week, well, it's sure to get ugly.

Bills Stink Up Cheese Country

2010-09-21T22:18:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills stunk up Green Bay, and the brothers struggle to find someone who actually brought their nuts to the game. How 'bout the pilot who got the team there? Done.

2) Chan Gailey announced that Fitz is stepping in for Captain Checkdown. Riley thinks Fitz will give the team the best chance to win, while Bennett just thinks he gives the Bills the best chance to not suck so much. Either way, Riley can't remember what his name is. Representative...and depressing.

3) Bills fan and longtime tailgater Ken Johnson made headlines when an NFL official threatened to close his tailgating party due to Ken's love for "bowling ball shots." The brothers aren't too pleased. Not only is this is a bowling ball shot much better than imbibing off a used condom, for example, but it's also the most exciting thing to happen at a Bills game all season.

4) They're only two games into the season, but already the Bills are part of the "worst team in the NFL" conversation. The brothers debate.

5) Bills/Pats. It's going to be ugly. How ugly? You might want to avert your glance and just do something else with your time.

Strap-O-Licious

2010-09-18T08:33:00.000-04:00

1) The Bills surprised no one, and stunk it up in the season opener against Miami. With so many jockstraps to go around, who will the brothers choose? Dave Andreychuck, anyone???

2) Clinton Portis uttered some craziness about female journalists in locker rooms. Guess who's coming to Clinton's defense? It's Riley!

3) No matter what the big-wigs at 2 Bills Drive say, Marshawn "Beast Mode" Lynch is on the trading block. But what can the Bills expect to get in return for a guy who carried the ball three times last week and still has some chick's weave stuck in his grill from that DUI down in Allentown?

4) Even in the wake of yet another disatrous performance, Bennett maintains his man-love for Trent Edwards. Will Riley talk some sense into his brother, or will Bennett remain the only Trent Edwards fan out there?

5) Reggie Bush has to return the Heisman. The brothers both think it's bullshit. And can't Reggie just say he lost the damn thing?

6) The Bills travel to Green Bay to get their asses handed to them this weekend. No way the Bills will win, but can they at least keep it close? Listen in for the scoop.

Cutting to the Chase

2010-09-11T19:31:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills got down to 53 by jettisoning former second round pick James Hardy. Goodbye James, we hardly knew ya.

2) Mom and dad pay a visit to Riley and Bennett in their respective cities. What's this have to do with peeing in the sink? Listen in for the details.

3) Linebacker Kawika Mitchell's now out for the season. Bennett was convinced the guy was pretty much done anyway, but it's sad to see the Tweet-master go down for the entire year.

4) It's one thing to have a fear of flying, but a fear of owls? Yeah, that's weird. The brothers discuss.

5) The Fins come to town, and the brothers are ready with their predictions. And of course there's the annual Mike Gandy award, handed out to the player most likely to suck.

Pain in the Ass

2010-08-28T09:19:00.001-04:00

1) Except for that homer from Tonawanda, everyone thinks the Bills are going to blow this season. Could this be the worst Bills team ever?

2) Bennett went down to Mexico and came back with a vicious case of 'rhoids. Ouch.

3) Some pissed-off teens heckled the Bills at practice this week. Is it appropriate to heckle your own team? The brothers debate.

4) Riley's making the big move from DC to NYC. What does this have to do with ben-wa- balls and a Hollywood tranny? Tune in for the details.

5) The brothers drafted their fantasy teams this week, and let's just say one of them has Lee Evans slotted into a starting spot. That can't be a good move.

6) The Bills face off with the Bengals this weekend. The brothers anticipate more hemmorhoids and a beheading. Good times.

Banking on the Draft

2010-04-21T10:18:00.006-04:00

1) The Bills go into this week's draft with plenty o' holes to fill. Offensive line? Quarterback? Nose tackle? The brothers discuss.

2) Donte Whitner, master of the tweet, recently tweeted that he'd just finished up doing his nails and was ready for a nap. Hey Donte, stop tweeting and start figuring out why you suck.

3) Vezina stud Ryan Miller has a hot-ass girlfriend. Riley doesn't get it, but Bennett sure does.

4) The Sabres are struggling, and might be headed for a first round exit. What gives?

5) Bennett hit the sperm bank this week, and he's here with all the juicy details. Naughty Latinas #38 sound good?

Looking Back...In Anger!

2010-03-26T08:10:00.001-04:00

1) With the draft quickly approaching, the brothers take a look back at the 2009 draft. Aaron Maybin, are you officially a bust yet?

2) Bennett had his first bowl of Count Chocula and he's pretty excited about it. Anything better than The Count? Maybe some Little Debbie snack cakes.

3) With the decade having come to a close, many fans are putting together their all decade team. For the Bills, how about the worst of the past decade? Mike Gandy, anyone?

4) Time for a little Price is Right. Would you trade Beast Mode for a 4th round pick? Would you trade Demetrius Bell for a case of beer and bucket of chicken wings? Yeah, tough one. Think about it.

5) The Sabres are sitting in first place in the division, and look poised for a solid playoff run. But are they ready for a run at the cup? The brothers debate.

Bills Need Rehab

2010-03-13T11:39:00.002-05:00

1) The season ended months ago, and just now are the brothers finally able to speak of THE HORROR that took place over those sixteen games.

2) Tiger Woods is still in rehab over his "sex addiction" issues. Is there such a thing as sex addiction. Riley and Bennett debate.

3) Chan Gailey was brought in. Riley liked the hire. Bennett's horrified. And what does Chan Gailey have to do with picking up chicks at a bar? Listen in for the scoop.

4) The highlight of the year for every Bills fan is coming soon: the draft. Should the Bills look to secure a quality QB, or just go big?

5) Due to his unkempt facial hair and hippie hair, Bennett's wife placed him in a no-sex situation. Solution: bring on the hawk!

Countdown to Colonoscopy

2010-01-01T23:55:00.002-05:00

1) The brothers took last week off, and the Bills did the same. Stinky, stinky jockstraps everywhere, even upstairs.

2) Ralph made his big hire for the GM position. Bill Cowher? Mike Shannahan? Bill Parcells? Nope. Some old dude no one's ever heard of. Great. Thanks, Ralph!

3) Dick Clark helped ring in the new year, stroked out and all. Dick, please stay home December 31; you're killing our buzz.

4) Rookie sensation Jarius Byrd is heading to the Pro Bowl, but Riley's not sure he deserves it. Listen in as the brothers debate.

5) Indy comes to town with zippo to play for. The brothers smell a W for the home team, and a nice slide down the draft order.

Bills Bad, Chiefs Worse

2009-12-19T11:49:00.002-05:00

1) The Bills went down to Kansas City and came back with a victory. Yes, the Bills are still bad. But at least they're not as bad as the lowly Chiefs.

2) Reports out of New England allege that the man best known for his work as the Patriot mascot was arrested in some kind of prostitution ring. Just the thought of that guy in his suit getting worked over by some Thai hooker makes the brothers smile.

3) Instant replay is boring. Really boring. Listen in as Riley and Bennett discuss some ways to make it more, uh, interesting.

4) The Thurminator on Twitter wants to know who the biggest asshole in Bills history is. Paging Bruce Smith.

5) The Hoodie and his boys come to town looking for a victory and a strangle-hold on a playoff spot. The Bills shouldn't put up much of fight, but on any given Sunday...

Canadian Crap

2009-12-11T17:08:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills went up to Toronto and for the second straight season bored the brothers to tears. Nice business move, Ralph. When will the frozen head do something right?

2) With only a few games left, Riley and Bennett are clamoring for a on-field glimpse of the young guns. Paging Aaron Maybin. Maybin? Maybin?

3) Yes, that Toronto game sucked. Let's go over it again.

4) Pictures have surfaced of a naked OJ toweling off in the locker room sometime circa 1977. Dude is hung. Check it out? Don't worry, you're not gay--just curious.

5) With so many injuries out there these days, Riley and Bennett ponder which one they'd care for the least. Hmmm...groin pull anyone?

6) The Bills head for an exciting showdown with Kansas City, a team that just might be more pathetic than the Bills. Ready for a 9-6 thriller?

Fewelled Up

2009-12-01T18:10:00.000-05:00

1) The Bills finally came through in the fourth quarter, thanks to the likes of Fred Jackson and Ricky Williams. Stick to passing the blunt, Ricky!

2) P. Fewell's 1-1 as a head coach, and everyone's ready to hand the guy the head coaching job. Riley and Bennett aren't quite convinced.

3) Riley headed in for a CT scan this week and got a bunch of crapped pumped into his ass. What gives? Listen in for the horrifying details.

4) With the Bills heading to Toronto for a Thursday encounter with the Jets, the brothers ponder Canada's cool factor. Brian Adams? Bacon? DeGrassi Junior High? Hmmmm.

5) Former first round pick Marshawn Lynch had only three carries on Sunday. Is it time to trade Beast Mode, and what could the Bills expect in return?

6) The Bills face the Jets up in Toronto, and the brothers are sure hoping it's not the pathetic affair it was last season when the Bills ventured up there.

Bills Can't Turn Corner

2009-11-25T14:52:00.003-05:00

1) The Bills went down to Jacksonville, played okay for about forty-five minutes, then lost. Sound familiar? Oh yeah.

2) You know you're a Bills fan when you: A) Make love to your woman in a Don Beebe jersey B) Have a podcast and blog devoted to the Bills even though they let you down year after year C) Pee in the sink D) All of the above

3) Bothered by all the knee injuries in the NFL, Bennett wonders why they just don't make knee braces mandatory. And while we're going there, why not jockstraps?

4) The brothers quick-hit a few topics. Fewell as head coach? Fitz as qb? Peeing in the sink?

5) Cowher and Gruden said no. Do the Bills have a legit shot at bringing in a big name, big money coach, or are we destined for some lowly re-tread?

6) Miami comes to town. Remember when this game actually meant something? Yeah, it's been awhile.

No More Dicking Around

2009-11-18T13:40:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills laid another fourth quarter egg, but you can't put the blame on Fred "Head" Jackson. The guy always brings his nuts.

2) The frozen head (that's Ralph, for those of you playing at home) finally got rid of Dick, even though "he's such a nice guy." The brothers don't care how nice Dick was, they're just glad he's gone.

3) Titans' owner Bud Adams flipped the Bills and their fans a bird. Classless. And it cost the guy 250K. So why are the brothers thanking Bud? Tune in for the details.

4) The 4th quarter has been unkind to the Bills, and even more unkind to their fans who have to watch that garbage? What would Riley and Bennett rather be doing during the fourth quarter? Toenail clipping and potty training top the list.

5) The Bills head to Jacksonville with a new coach and the same tired old assortment of players. Look for MJD to pile up the yardage, but somehow Bennett thinks the Bills will come out on top.
- Show quoted text -

Houston, We Have a Problem

2009-11-03T19:35:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills D stood strong, but the offense was more than a little offensive. Another signature Dick Jauron loss. Thanks, Dick!

2) The brothers are up and tweeting, but Bennett's not sure if he can figure this whole thing out. And does he really still have a VCR?

3) Caron Butler just kicked his Mountain Dew habit, complete with withdrawal and the shakes. What???

4) Some NFL Network "gurus" have labeled Jarius Byrd a "freelancer" who doesn't play the run. Who cares when you've got a handful of picks in just a few games.

5) The Bills are 3-5, which means it's time for some mid-season awards. Drayton Florence, there's one coming your way!

6) At the mid-way point, the brothers ponder which injury derailed the Bills the most during the first half of the season. Poz's arm? Mitchell's knee? Riley's groin? Oh, and don't miss hearing Bennett wax eloquent on all things Marley and Me.

7) The Bills head to the land of Vince Young. Will the Titans lay down for the Bills, or will Vince prove he still belongs in the NFL?

Ballhawk Byrd Flies High

2009-10-30T00:01:00.004-04:00

1) The Bills were dominated on the stat sheet against to Carolina, but thanks to a misfiring Jake Delhome and rookie leather-lover J. Byrd, the Bills hobbled out of Carolina with another W.

2) Jets QB Marc Sanchez took a little time during last Sunday's game to order himself a hotdog...with mustard. Okay or not okay? The brothers debate.

3) The guy who put up the "Fire Dick Jauron" billboard stops by for a chat with Riley and Bennett. Would he give up his right nut for a Superbowl victory? Listen in for the details.

4) Riley's worried how the Bills will fit all those talented safeties into the line-up, while Bennett's worried his mother-in-law might not have taken too kindly to the birthday cake Bennett and his son served up this week. Eat up, grandma!

5) The Texans come to town, and it looks like Andre Johnson and Mario Williams are going to play. Uh, that can't be good.

Sanchize: You Suck!

2009-10-21T18:49:00.004-04:00

1) The Bills intercepted Marc Sanchez five times, leading to the Bills first AFC East victory in, well, a long ass time. Kudos to the defensive backs who made it happen.

2) Is it okay to read a newspaper left by some dude in the office bathroom? The brothers debate.

3) You're Ralph Wilson for a day. Would you fire the coaching staff? Get a new GM? Freeze your head like Ted Williams? Hmmmm.

4) The Bills are 2-4, but could easily by 4-2. Who are the Bills, really?

5) Time to head south, where the Bills meet Carolina and a running game looking to gash the Bills line for big yards. The brothers are pretty sure the Bills will lose that battle, but who will win the war?

Cleveland Steamer

2009-10-13T23:30:00.003-04:00

1) The Bills put on one of the worst, most pathetic displays of what some actually had the gall to call "football." Straps aplenty.

2) Dick is on his way out, either in the next couple weeks or at season's end. Where's he headed next? Or rather, what job would suit him best? Bennett's got an idea. Thanks to Skunkpost for the topic.

3) Some inebriated fans absconded with a life-size wood carving of Thurman Thomas, claiming they just meant to "save it." Sweet.

4) The injuries keep piling up for an already depleted Bills squad. Is it a reasonable excuse for their poor play? Riley sure doesn't think so.

5) The Bills head to Jersey in search of another painful ass-stomping. Oh, the horror.

Miami Meltdown

2009-10-10T00:22:00.005-04:00

1) The Bills went down to Florida and laid an all-time stinker. Thanks for getting the team prepared, Dick!

2) None too pleased with Dick's performance, the brothers wonder if the guy should get canned.

3) Bennett's co-worker has taken to sneaking snacks into the bathroom. Is this appropriate work-place behavior? The brothers debate.

4) Jackson or Lynch? Huddle or no-huddle? Jonathan Scott or Langston Walker? Cheap toilet paper or the expensive stuff. Listen in for all the answers.

5) The Browns come to The Ralph and boy do they suck. Sadly, so do the brothers' beloved Bills. Who will win this snoozer?

Saints March on Bills

2009-09-30T23:16:00.003-04:00

Note: The rss file has been updated with the 9/30 podcast (rather than the 9/03 podcast. Thanks to those of you who notified us. Also, our e-mail is now widerightradio@yahoo.com. Yahoo as a domain provider was a nightmare, so we're still in the process of moving.

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1) The Saints rolled into The Ralph and waited until late in the game to roll right over the Bills. Donte Whitner brought his nuts, while a certain number one draft pick only brought his jock strap.

2) TO didn't catch a pass for the first time in a decade. How long before the big guy blows a gasket? Riley thinks it's coming...and soon.

3) The new Seattle uniforms are unquestionably the ugliest in years. Bennett wonders if they look more like his last urine sample, or the offerings at Chess King from the early 90s.

4) The no-huddle offense is being run by Captain Checkdown. Will the Bills ever go downfield, and just how will they do it. The brothers debate.

5) The Bills head to Miami and a date with the Dolphins and a crap quarterback. Bennett's sure that Beast Mode will make sure the Bills come back with a victory, while Riley's not so sure.

Buc-Whooping!

2009-09-24T20:40:00.000-04:00

1) The Bills put the hurt on the Bucs, with over-achievers Kyle Williams and Fred Jackson leading the way. As for TO, well, he just brought his strap.

2) Riley is obsessed with power rankings, and he's not the only one. How does Bills Nation feel about the current ranking?

3) Starting safety Donte Whitner had $400,000 worth of bling stolen from his pad during game day. Why would a fan do that to the poor guy? And why does Donte have that much bling laying around?

4) Riley doesn't have cable and he's damn proud of it. He claims he's he's being thrifty, while Bennett is convinced that gathering around your laptop with your lady is no way to relax.

5) The high-powered Saints come to The Ralph. Avert your glance when Drew Brees drops back to pass and get ready for a 1-2 record.

Kneel Down

2009-09-18T17:30:00.004-04:00

1) The Bills did everything but win on Monday night, and maybe they would have if Donte Whitner had brought more than his jockstrap to Foxborough.

2) Leodis "McLovin" fumbled the game away in the final seconds, then went home to find a big ol' cock spray-painted on his front lawn. Welcome home, Leodis!

3) Stud collegiate wideout Michael Crabtree is still unsigned, leaving some to believe the 'niners should be granted an extra first round pick in next year's draft. Say what?

4) Bennett is giving up something big until the Bills come through with a "W." Listen in for the details.

5) The Bucs come to The Ralph looking to score an upset. The brothers don't see it happening.

A Smelly Start?

2009-09-13T12:16:00.004-04:00

1) The axe fell hard on Langston Walker. Unexpected? Perhaps. A surprise? Not really. The Brothers think he had it coming. But what does it mean for the Bills future and who made the call? Is grandpa in charge? Tune in.

2) Ellis Lankster's debut on national TV host fared poorly. Actually, that's an understatement. It was so horrific that it garnered national attention. So, give the man his own TV show!

3) Bennett's sister-in-law gets sent to the ER in the middle of the night. What's so funny about this? Wait for it. Wait for it. Riley shares his embarrassing ER story.

4) The Bills kick off the season against the perennial Superbowl contenders, the New England Patriots. Will the Bills pull one off in Boston? Can they at least beat the spread? How much ball will T.O. see, at least of the pigskin kind? And how will we feel about the Bills after the season is over? The Brothers look into their collective crystal balls and tell you what they see.

Superbowl Bound!

2009-09-04T00:05:00.004-04:00

1) The Bills no-huddle offense has dominated all preseason opponents. The brothers agree this 2009 Bills squad is destined for Superbowl greatness!

2) It's pre-season awards time, with Riley and Bennett handing out many, including the beloved "Mike Gandy Award," given to the player most likely to, well, suck.

3) Did TO really injure his toe due to a poorly functioning shoe? Riley sure thinks so. Bennett just wonders if his brother would give up a toe for a Bills' Superbowl victory. By the way, anyone seen that clip of Hitler pissed over TO coming to Buffalo. If not, check it out.

4) The roster gets cut down to 53. Listen in to find out who the brothers think will make the squad, and who will be cut and end up starring for some other team, as is usually the case for the Bills.

Off-Season Snap Judgments

2009-07-08T17:43:00.001-04:00

1) Yep, there's been some talk of the Bills signing Michael Vick. Riley loves the idea of #7 running a little Wildcat for the Bills, while Bennett is convinced that a guy who just finished a stint in the big house is hardly the answer.

2) Long-snapper Garrison Sanborn skipped his sister's wedding for a tryout with the Bills. Bad idea? The brothers debate.

3) It's been a couple months since Riley and Bennett obsessed over the draft. Now it's time to wonder whether these guys will actually pan out. Shawn Nelson, anyone?

4) Which player from the Bills simply can't get injured this year? TO? Langston Walker? That dude on special teams who makes tackles but no one remembers his name?

5) Riley's in London for the summer, often too drunk to do podcasts. What the hell?

Chicken Soup

2009-04-26T20:02:00.008-04:00

I'll start posting some links and video on the draft. I really liked this draft, but I know a few people who are about to stuff their head in an oven.

1) Todd McShay lists the Bills as his Day 1 winner:

2) Trent Dilfer says the Bills have the weekend's top draft.

3) Sometimes, it's just as important to point out why not to listen to commentators. The Sports Network's NFL Editor dished out a C+ to the Bills, but somehow missed the fact that Byrd is free safety (therefore not Greer's replacement) and Nic Harris is a linebacker (not a defensive back).

4) Watch some video of new Bills TE Shawn Nelson and LB Nic Harris. These guys are beasts.

5) If you want to critique the Bills, it's that they didn't find a weak-side LB or left tackle in the draft. Here's the thing: I'm not sure they were on the board at any point. At least no one better than Walker next year. So what do the Bills have planned? I hope it isn't should-be OG Andrew Levitre, because he looks terrible at tackle. Chambers or Bell? I doubt it. Waiting for Cincinnati to cut Levi Jones? That I like. Or what about new free agent LB Leroy Hill? It would take some change, but if you show Kelsay and Parrish the door then you'll have some new found dough to spread around.

6) USA Today gives the Bills' Draft an A-, ranks them in the 4, and puts us on par with New England's Draft.

7) If all else fails, follow our undrafted rookie free agent acquisitions.

Chat: Bills' Draft

2009-04-24T18:43:00.004-04:00

NFL Draft 2009

On Tap: Bills Draft

2009-04-24T18:43:00.003-04:00

1) The Bills head into this weekend's draft with three picks in the top 42. The brothers hope for the best (a pass rushing DE/LB, some big beefcake to fill Peters's spot, an all-world tight end), but expect the worse: the second coming of Mike Williams.

2) With TO headed to their hometown, Riley and Bennett wonder just where the superstar's going to hang. Can you imagine TO picking up some of that rice pudding at Towne? Nah, neither can the brothers.

3) Peters and Dockery are gone. In their place, uh, some other dudes. Will the line hold up this season, or will Trent spend most of his time on his back?

4) The brothers' grandfather -- and one time guest of widerightradio -- had a little incident at his pad in Hawaii. Let's just say it involved a pair of spectacles, a clogged toilet, and a septic tank. Listen in for the gory details.

Move Down!

2009-04-24T16:16:00.000-04:00

Reports from ESPN show that the Patriots are looking to move down in tomorrow's draft. The Pats are looking to move up from #23 to the 10-20 range to grab DE Ayers using their battery of 2nd and 3rd rounders.

Here's my take: This is a deep draft, but not a superstar draft. A lot of the players the Bills are thinking about at #11 will be there at #23. Moving down is rare and difficult. Do it. Yes, the Pats will get the better of the deal as they always do. But the Bills can probably get an extra 2nd round pick out of the deal and start filling in that offensive line.

Bennett's & Riley's Mock Drafts

2009-04-22T13:53:00.003-04:00

Riley:
Rd. 1 (11) - Guy pegged for 3rd round who can return punts.
Rd. 1 (28) - Free safety.
Rd. 2 - Guy who has smoked a ton of pot and beat up his girlfriend.
Rd. 3 - Really nice guy who will never play in the NFL, but who has a "high motor."
Rd. 4 (10) - Injured guy
Rd. 4 (21) - Great LB.
Rd. 5 - "Project" who the Bills will trade 1 year before he's actually good.
Rd. 6 - Some guy we'll cut before the end of training camp.
Rd. 7 - Foreign dude who can bench 450 pounds, but has never heard of football. Bills pay him $2.3 million before said foreign dude decides to become Ukrainian cage-match champion.

Bennett:
Rd. 1 (11) - Lineman who grew up in buffalo/played for UB who has no chance in NFL.
Rd. 1 (28) - Running back who ran for 100,000 yards in conference no one's ever heard of.
Rd. 2 - Defensive end whose dad once played for Marv Levy/shagged daughter of Ralph's third cousin.
Rd. 3 - Running back recovering from catastrophic knee injury.
Rd. 4 (10) - Quarterback who "can't make every throw" but scored high on Wonderlic and is "super guy."
Rd. 4 (21) - Dude from big school who's too small at linebacker, too slow at safety (aka Coy Wire).
Rd. 4 (Acquired from Patriots for Bills 5, 6, and 7 round picks) - PAC-10 prospect, because he really knows how to play in cold weather.
Rds. 6 & 7 - Traded to acquire Rd. 5 prospect. Bills say at press conference, "We saw he was on the board at pick 124 and knew we had to have him." Patriots draft their next quarterback of the future in round 6 and round 7 to acquire a new hoodie for Belichick.

T.O. Buffalo Bound!

2009-03-09T22:12:00.005-04:00

1) After boring the brothers for the better part of two weeks, the Bills made the biggest splash in free agency by bringing in infamous Terrell Owens and all the baggage that comes with him. Riley's worried that T.O. will be a divisive figure in the locker room, while Bennett's just excited the team has finally made a move worth following. Regardless, the brothers can't believe T.O. is headed to their hometown.

2) While the Bills limped to a last place finish in the AFC East last season, Riley managed to squeak out a draw with Bennett on their friendly, season-long wager. The brothers recap the end of last season.

3) Bennett has his first parent-teacher conference for his three year old son, Bowie. While Bennett's always up for talking about his first born, he wonders what there is to discuss when the kid's only three. Listen in for the details.

4) Marshawn "Beast Mode" Lynch got arrested for carrying a concealed (and loaded) fire arm. Riley's pissed, and convinced the star running back is looking at a four game suspension. Bennett just wonders why the guy was carrying a piece in one of the least dangerous places in Los Angeles.

5) No question the T.O. signing was huge, but what about the other moves the Bills have made? Who, for example, is going to being suiting up on that offensive line next season? The brothers sure wonder. It just better not be Mike Gandy.

6) No March podcast would be complete without a little Sabres talk, as the "other team" in Buffalo makes a push for the playoffs. With no Ryan Miller, a wired up Thomas Vanek, and no big moves before the deadline, it's not looking good for Lindy's crew.

Mile High

2008-12-22T20:35:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills went to Denver, laid down for the first quarter, then promptly sprung up off the frozen tundra and bitch-slapped the Broncos. Let's all give thanks to the return of Trent Edwards and the inspired play of rookie Reggie Corner.

2) Bennett has deemed this holiday season "Recessionista Christmas," and informed his beloved brother he can expect nothing more than a sack of shit come December 25th. Riley's none too pleased. Tune in for the rumble.

3) Stud left tackle Jason Peters declared himself ineligible for the Denver game after getting word that he was headed to Hawaii for another pro bowl appearance. Is the dude really injured, or is he just shutting it down and angling for a new contract? Uh, what do you think?

4) Mr. Bill and his band of merry pranksters come to The Ralph looking to score themselves a spot in the playoffs. Bennett thinks the inspired Bills will finally solve the Patriot puzzle, while Riley's sure the Pats will take care of business.

NFL Realpolitik

2008-12-16T22:31:00.006-05:00

1) Riley dishes his nut to an old favorite while Bennett laud's the Bills' much maligned offensive (or OFFENSIVE) line. The stench of a rank jockstrap emanates from a familiar place. JV.

2) JP Losman is definitely out of Buffalo this offseason. Destination? Venice Beach? Toronto? The unibomber's shack? Wherever it is, we're all glad it won't be here.

3) Jason Peters goes to the Pro Bowl. WHAT?? JASON PETERS IN THE PRO BOWL??

4) Bennett went to 75 year-old Marge for a mohawk. Think it went well? Think again.

5) Rumors are that Jauron is sitting on a new contract. Forget the contract, why the secrecy game? Has Ralph lost it? And maybe keeping Jauron around for another couple years isn't a terrible idea. Are the Brothers as crazy as Ralph? Tune in to find out.

6) The Bills drag the sorry carcas that is their season to Denver for the year's penultimate game. Riley's two down with two games to go. Can he close the gap? Tune in.

Canadian Crap

2008-12-10T21:57:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills drove two hours for a "home game" and delivered their most pathetic performance of the season. Hope you're happy, Ralph.

2) How quickly it all went sour. Two months ago the Bills were flying high and Dick Jauron was the toast of Western New York. Now everyone wants him out. Including the brothers.

3) Third string QB Gibran Hamdan hasn't seen the field this year, but Riley desperately wants the guy to go jihad out there before the season ends.

4) A couple got caught having sex in the bathroom at The Ralph a few Sundays back. Disgusting. Or is it?

5) The Bills head to the big apple for a date with the Jets, a team -- unlike the Bills -- with a real shot at the playoffs. The brothers disagree on just what will happen come Sunday.

Sloppy Seconds

2008-12-06T00:13:00.005-05:00

1) Marshawn Lynch ran wild and brought his big-ass nuts, but Dick Jauron, Bobby April and the rest of the coaching staff only showed up with their straps. Result? Turd.

2) Sean Avery deemed his ex-girlfriend “sloppy seconds” and got himself a six game suspension. Riley’s pissed that his free speech has been violated, while Bennett wonders what’s wrong with a few harsh remarks and a cap in your own ass.

3) The Bills head to Toronto for a “home game” like no other. And the dome’s going to be closed! Say it ain’t so, Ralph Wilson!

4) Riley paid a visit to Bennett’s LA pad this past week, and was greeted by a bunch of wieners in his face. Is it normal for Bennett’s kids to parade around naked all the time, or are those kids destined for a lifetime of therapy?

5) The Bills host the Fins in December...and it'll be 72 degree, sans wind! Even worse, JV Losman at qb. Might want to close your eyes for this one.

McLovin' It

2008-11-24T22:17:00.003-05:00

1) A week after a crushing loss to the Browns on Monday night, the Bills went to KC and bitch-slapped the Chiefs with plenty of nut-worthy performances.

2) A New York Times article claims NFL players are popping Viagra for increased blood flow. Uh, this sounds like a bad idea. Nothing like sportin' a chub during the game.

3) Last week Riley and Bennett pondered whether the Bills' season was unofficially over at 5-5. Is it still over at 6-5, or is there a glimmer of hope somewhere?

4) Yearning for a winning team, the brothers' parents have resorted to UB Bulls games. Is this an act of desperation, or are the folks onto something?

5) San Francisco visits The Ralph with a bunch of scrubs looking to lay down. Riley and Bennett both think the Bills should win this one with ease.

Wide Right: Monday Night Edition!

2008-11-20T19:45:00.004-05:00

1) Dick Jauron and Trent Edwards teamed up -- with a little help from Rian Lindell -- to send the Bills to their fourth consecutive defeat. At least it's Thursday and Riley's head is officially out of the oven by now.

2) Only a few weeks ago the Bills were the darlings of the NFL. Now they're in last place in the AFC East and the brothers are willing to concede the season over. Let's talk draft!

3) Riley and the rest of the out of town crew is making the trek to sunny LA for Thanksgiving. Turkey, stuffing, and a handicapped toilet await.

4) The Cleveland loss was bad. But was it worse than having the runs for three straight days? Was it worse than your woman putting you in a "non sex situation" for a month? Listen to the brothers debate.

5) A month ago Dick Jauron was a shoo-in for a contract extension. Now Riley and Bennett are dialing up Marv Levy and inquiring as to his availability.

6) The Bills head to KC to face a bunch of scrubs dressed in red. Please Trent, don't fuck this one up.

Nutless Bills Look to Show Junk

2008-11-12T21:12:00.003-05:00

1) The Bills went to New England and once again were humbled by Billy B. and a cast of second string characters. The brothers have trouble finding a Bill who actually brought his nuts.

2) Three weeks of dreadful losses, and the brothers wonder if they've seen the real Bills or the fake Bills? Real or fake Trent? Real or fake Peters? Real or fake T. Mcgee? Real or fake K. Mitchell?

3) Riley and Bennett look to dole out a little blame for the losing streak. Both brothers place the blame on guys who aren't even out there playing. Listen in for the scoop.

4) The final roster cuts were made long ago, but the Bills are probably still regretting letting Will James take his game elsewhere. They could definitely use the guy now, huh?

5) Bennett's son has taken to showing his junk to any and all visitors. Is this a good thing? You bet.

6) The Browns come to The Ralph very a Monday night battle. The Bills -- now in last place in the AFC East -- really need this one. But will they get it?

A Week Off

2008-11-07T11:06:00.004-05:00

The Brothers are taking a week off after a very busy election week. Riley was down in Norfolk, VA and Bennett just watched way too much Daily Show while taking hits off rank diapers. In any event, they are in no shape to podcast. You'll have to forgive us this trespass.

But here's a taste to get you through the week.

Who would you pick for your flag football team?
Bennett: Palin. She's got wide hips and a mean straight arm.
Riley: A toss up between Rahm Emanuel and Bill Richardson. Richardson would be a great blocking fullback, but you need a scrapy wideout in flag football, so Emanuel gets the call.

Predictions on Sunday's brawl with the Patriots?
Bennett: Pats 23, Bills 17.
Riley: Everything tells me that the Bills are heading south. Injuries are just too much right now. You can't lose your best CB, best pass rusher, best defensive player, and best possession wide receiver while having your best lineman and free safety massively underperforming and still expect to win too many games. But I'm staying on this bandwagon. It's all heart here. Bills 23, Pats 20.

Royal Ass-Kicking

2008-10-30T03:11:00.005-04:00

1) The Bills gave up big plays and big points, and left South Florida with another loss and mounting injuries. Robert Royal takes some heat, while the brothers wonder why there wasn't more Beast Mode on Sunday.

2) Josh Reed pulled a hammy (or something like that) and the Bills' offense went into a tailspin. If the guy is out for a significant amount of time, who is going to step up?

3) The Special Teams have been less than special for the Bills this season, and the brothers aren't too happy about that. Paging Mark Pike!

4) From the daily election polls to the meaningless, ubiquitous ESPN polls, Riley just can't get enough. And how does this relate to finding a bag of weed at Off Track Betting? Listen in for the details.

5) Old Man Favre and the J-E-T-S visit The Ralph for what the brothers are sure will be a shoot-out. Can the hobbled D hold up against Brett's golden arm?

Pennington Superior to Edwards?

2008-10-26T10:19:00.000-04:00

Just think about this headline for a moment: QB could give Dolphins edge.

Pause. Now, I could be wrong. Detroit could run the table and make the playoffs. Palmer could surgically repair his own shoulder and lead the Bengals to victory. Westbrook could deliver two fantasy seasons in a row without a crushing injury. And Pennington could be the more important quarterback in this game.

But he isn't. Anything's possible on any given Sunday, but Edwards is the superior quarterback. The Las Vegas Review-Journal should really avoid publishing an unauthored piece claiming otherwise.

Serious Football

2008-10-24T16:38:00.005-04:00

1) The Bills shot down the high-flying Charger offense, but the defense took away a couple of straps. Tune in to find out why. The Brothers are guaranteeing a podcast free from bad "electric" puns based on either transformers or Chargers.

2) Is Edwards wearing mascara? Maybe, maybe not, but the Brothers use the opportunity to discuss what's their favorite femme product.

3) It's early yet, but is 2008 the biggest draft bust in Bills history? Where's McKelvin? Hardy? Has Chris Ellis entered the Witness Protection Program? And what does this mean to the Bills this season?

4) The injury bug has officially bitten. Crowell, now DiGiorgio. McGee and Schobel are sidelined. Time for a game of true false? McGee is the player we most need back. Schobel should shut it down for a month. DiGiorgio will hurt more than Crowell.

5) Whitner has been moved around a lot: corner, free safety, safety. Now there's a new former that cuts Ko Simpson out of the picture. Is this a good idea? The Brothers disagree.

6) The Bills head south to hot Miami to face off against the on-again, off-again Dolphins. Will the Bills come away with a W in their first divisional action? Bennett seems to have a pair of crystal balls while Riley, well, you get the picture.

Post-Charger Video

2008-10-19T21:44:00.002-04:00

CBS commentators give a post-game wrap-up:

Interview with Mitchell. My favorite part, "Whatever his name is." Just note how he talks about practice. These guys are prepared.

NFL.com Highlights

Bad, Just Bad

2008-10-16T23:16:00.004-04:00

1) In the span of twenty-four hours, John McCargo went from Buffalo to Indy, then back to Buffalo. Is the guy now definitively a bust? The brothers discuss.

2) All-Pro tight end Tony Gonzalez was available for the mere asking price of a second round pick. Turns out the Bills were willing to deal, but Tony G. said no to Buffalo. Nice one, Tony. Dick.

3) Bennett and his now potty-trained toddler had a little incident at Old Navy this past weekend. Hey you at Old Navy, next time Bennett's kid needs to take a dump, let him use the bathroom. Or else...

4) ESPN has the Bills ranked #4. Do the Bills deserve so much respect? The brothers love their Bills, but #4 seems a bit high.

5) The Wall Street Journal called the Bills fans the worst fans in the league. What gives?

6) The Chargers come to The Ralph for a big game this Sunday. Will concussed Trent Edwards and the boys be able to handle LT and the gang? The brothers debate.

Child's Play

2008-10-09T22:59:00.004-04:00

1) Bennett's oldest joins the discussion on the Desert Debacle. The Bills were certainly Nutless but someone has to take home the hardware. Tune in to find out who.

2) Of all the coaches drafted in 2006, is Jauron really the best? He certainly smokes the likes of the newly unemployed Scott Linehan and Marvin Lewis, who has been reduced the role of school marm. But does he knock off Mike McCarthy and Sean Payton?

3) Riley has been dominating his fantasy football league. But wait! It's all former Peace Corps Volunteers. Can he still brag about it? Well, he'll certainly try.

4) Bennett's got a beard of nose hair to go with his nasty body odor issues. Yes, mid-life crisis is upon him. You've really got to see how he's handling it.

5) With no game next week, the Brothers play a game of True or False: Is Dick Jauron the coach of the future? Are Schobel and Kelsey the answer at DE? Is Edwards too fragile? You want answers, the Brothers have them.

Special Bonus: Hear Bennett's son gurgle cute sounds. No really. We're serious.

Bills Lite Up

2008-10-02T23:19:00.003-04:00

1) After giving insta-feedback on the new Evans deal, the brothers dispense their awards and raspberries from the Rams game.

2) Barnes gets shown the door and a few preschoolers in Bennett's son's school get sent home. Are there life lessons here?

3) Williams thinks about lighting up during the bye week while Henry's career flames out with a drug bust. Are the brothers obsessed with life lessons this week? Should players just chill out with some sideline herb? Tune in.

4) Everyone knows when the game's over. So what were the Rams and Cardinals doing going for broke when down by three scores? Now Boldin's out. Who's to blame?

5) Time for weekly predictions. At 4-0, you'd think the Bills would be top dog, but now they're just underdogs. Will the Bills bring the beat down or simply get beat? For the first time this year, the brothers disagree.

Dumping the Raiders

2008-09-25T23:14:00.004-04:00

1) Even though the Bills came away with a victory on Sunday, the brothers weren't impressed with what they saw. Peters and the rest of the O-line only brought their straps.

2) Last week Donte Whitner found himself the recipient of a two hundred dollar shot from an adoring fan. This week Donte's headed back to that same bar hoping for another gratis libation. The brothers are worried the stud safety might up ruffied and "with a plunger up his ass."

3) The Bills are 3-0, and the team looks solid. But where do the weaknesses lie in this Buffalo squad? Look no further than the center spot.

4) Bennett's having some issues with the bathroom at work. Riley's having some issues with the bathroom at school. Listen in for the details.

5) The Bills take their game to St. Louis and the winless slag heap that is the Rams. Will Trent and the gang come away with another W, or is this really a trap game? The brothers debate.

1992

2008-09-22T08:58:00.001-04:00

Bills are 3-0 for the first time since 1992. The Brothers want to know what's changed for you since 1992, eighteen years ago. Post a comment or drop us an e-mail.

Heating Up

2008-09-18T22:16:00.005-04:00

1) The Bills weathered the heat down in Florida and came away with their second victory in as many games. So many nuts to pass out, so little time.

2) Dick Jauron and Lee Evans are in the midst of contract extension talks. Is now the right time, or should the Bills have waited? The brothers disagree.

3) Redskins tight end and frequent blogger, Chris Cooley, posted a photo of his playbook on the Internet before last weekend's game. Oh, and look...there's his penis in the background! Uh oh.

4) Starting safety Donte Whitner ran into a fan who bought Donte a $200 shot of something that "tasted strong." Bad idea? Riley and Bennett sure think so.

5) Raider Nation makes an appearance at The Ralph this sunday, and the brothers aren't impressed by what they've seen from Al Davis's gang. Riley claims it's going to be a bloodbath.

If the Playoffs Started Today...

2008-09-12T07:18:00.005-04:00

1) The Bills dominated the Seahawks in the home opener. Kirk Chambers, a whipping boy on many of last year's podcasts, gets props for bringing his nuts. As for the strap, well, listen in for the details.

2) Brady goes down. Merriman's out. Vince Young needs therapy and a hug. How do the Bills' playoff chances look now that the rest of the AFC is imploding?

3) Chad Johnson officially changed his name, and now he's considering forking over millions of dollars to get his new moniker emblazoned on the back of his Sunday uniform. Bennett thinks Chad should have taken care of this when #85 "didn't suck," while Riley proposes bringing back the XFL jerseys. He Hate Me, anyone?

4) The Bills have to send someone to the waiver wire in order to make way for malcontent left tackle Jason Peters. Who will it be? How 'bout Steve Johnson pulling a hammy in the shower and ending up on IR for the year? Bingo.

5) Fred Taylor and his boys are talking big time smack, all of it blowing in the direction of former teammate and now beast of Buffalo, Marcus Stroud. Bad idea? The brothers sure think so.

6) A week ago, the Jacksonville game was a sure loss for the Bills. Suddenly, the Jags look wounded and the Bills look dominant. Do the brothers think Edwards and the gang can go down to Florida and pick up a W? You bet.

Let the Games Begin

2008-09-04T23:02:00.005-04:00

1) Crowell goes down. An hour later the brothers give their initial reactions to the devastating news.

2) The Bills trimmed their roster to a tidy 53. Bennett likes the fact that the Bills took the knife to the tight end spot, while Riley's concerned about the depth on the O-line.

3) A pre-season at widerightradio wouldn't be complete without the brothers' pre-season awards. Bennett doles out his "most likely to get suspended" to grizzly-man JP, and Riley tabs McLovin' as the winner of the "Mike Gandy Award," given to the player most likely to suck.

4) Will an easier schedule allow the Bills to improve on last year's 7-9 record, or will having Brett Favre and Bill Parcells nearby trip the Bills up on their way back to the land of respect?

5) Bennett hates Michael Phelps. Turns out he's not the only one. And what's with that Michael Phelps: Greatest Olympian DVD? Who actually wants that shit???

6) The Seahawks come into The Ralph bruised and banged-up. Can the Bills take advantage and come away with a W in the first game of the season? The brothers sure think so.

Final Cuts

2008-08-30T09:54:00.002-04:00

The Buffalo News and the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle are going at it over the Bills final cuts with some very different results. The two papers diverge about as much as possible.

The News has Omon making the roster while D&C has Wright staying with the Bills. I think Wright's abysmal performance wraps it up for Omon. The third string back isn't going to see the light of day unless Lynch and Jackson go down. That means it's about special teams and hanging onto the football, neither of which Wright has shown much of. And this coming from a big Wright fan.

The News has Steve Johnson in the last WR slot while D&C figures Jenkins will make it. If I'm the Bills, I worry about another team snapping Johnson up. However, April lost a lot of players and will argue hard for Jenkins. I'm going with my heart and saying Johnson wins the last spot.

I think the News is right that it's very likely the Bills will keep 6 WRs and 11 DBs, though. It leaves the line thin, but I wouldn't be surprised to see folks like Murphy and Fine on PUP list to give them more time to figure out those situations, wait for Peters to return, and settle the TE battle. There's just no way that D&C's predictions come true and the Bills let their third and fourth round picks go on the waiver wire (Ellis & Fine). Neither Corner nor Youbouty is going to see the waiver wire either in my opinion.

The piece by the News is far more pretient in my opinion, but only time will tell.

Olympic-Sized Preseason

2008-08-24T16:04:00.004-04:00

1) We're only two games into the pre-season, but Bennett and Riley are already spotting some interesting developments out there on the field. Better hit the hot tub, Trent.

2) Brett Favre's packed up and moved to the city that never sleeps. Should Bills fans be concerned? Will the Bills line up across from the MVP who once dominated the league, or the aging veteran known for throwing untimely interceptions?

3) The Bills are heading into their third pre-season game and still no word from stud tackle Jason Peters. Riley's pissed, while Bennett just wants a glimpse of the guy before signing him to a mega-deal.

4) The brothers love their football, but they also love their Olympics. What lesser known sports would they like to see more of? And what sports would they like to see less of? Trampoline anyone? No thank you.

Blogs & Lee Evans

2008-07-26T09:24:00.005-04:00

Despite my initial pessimism, the AFC East blog on ESPN has grown into a nice spot for news. It's written by Tim Graham, who used to cover the Sabres for the Buffalo News. Yes, some of its regurgitated stories from local papers, but it has some solid fresh content as well. The format works and if it grows in a Hashmarks for each division, ESPN will definitely have a hit on its hands. Speaking of blogs, the Buffalo News has a solid training camp blog.

And I can't help but think that the Bills brass is using Lee Evans against Jason Peters. Look at the two situations. Evans wants a new contract. Says so a couple of years ago. Keeps playing. And now it looks like negotiations are coming together. In contrast, Peters was thinking about a new contract late last season and has pouted in silence, waiting for the Bills to come crawling. I think the Bills will overpay Evans in order to send a clear message to Peters and others that the only way to get a new deal is show up at camp. By comparison, Devin Hester had every reason to hold out and didn't, despite the fact that he was making $445,000.

There are two other good comparisons to Peters' situation. First, Kellen Winslow has joined the Browns despite wanting a new contract. Still playing on his rookie contract, Winslow had two injury mired seasons before breaking out in 2006 and 2007. His current contract pays him around $4 to $5 million a year and has three years remaining. Second, Brian Westbrook also has three years left on his deal averaging $5 million a year. But he has chosen to sit out, demanding Tomlinson-like money: $30 million guaranteed without any increase in the life of the contract. While Westbrook has had injury problems in the past and is closing in on the ominous 30 years old (for running backs), he's also proven himself on the field more than both Winslow and Peters.

And these are the guys who are getting ink for their decisions. Think of all the guys around the league who are over-performing their contracts and not a word has been mentioned.

Bills Looking to "Mesh"

2008-07-25T23:33:00.003-04:00

1) Stud left tackle Jason Peters was a no-show on the first day of training camp. Does he deserve a new deal, or should J. Pete shut up and play out his contract?

2) There's no debating that Marshawn Lynch hit someone with his Porsche that night in Allentown. But there is debate over whether Beast Mode actually knew he hit someone.

3) The brothers' beloved grandfather had successful hip surgery, but for some reason his balls have swelled to the size of softballs. And what's with his choice of underwear? The horrified brothers discuss.

4) As the Bills head into training camp, Riley and Bennett look at a couple key battles that are worth keeping an eye on. Robert Royal, watch your back.

5) The NFL Network recently named Steve Tasker to their list of best players NOT in the NFL. Both the brothers want their beloved special teams ace in the hall, but will he ever get there?

Best Comeback in NFL History

2008-07-11T17:05:00.003-04:00

NFL Network decided to tell us what we already knew: the Bills still hold the best comeback in NFL history. Yeah, it's obvious, but we still like to hear it.

In other news, CBS Sportsline has called the Greer/McKelvin training camp battle in favor of McLovin'. John McCargo is one of the 32 breakout players for 2008.

Bucky Brooks over on Sports Illustrated slotted Jason Peters on his 2008 capped team. It was a polite reminder that while Peters is a steal, he's got a cap number of nearly $5 million next season. And dude is still riding the pine for more money. No other Bills made the 53 man roster. His coworker, Michael Lombardi, decided no Bills worthy roster-worthy.

Further Proof

2008-07-09T10:40:00.003-04:00

ESPN decided to make an even stronger case that they have no clue how to cover individual teams. In ranking the running backs of the top 32 teams, here's what Jeremy Green crafted on the Bills: "13. Buffalo Bills. Marshawn Lynch turned what was one of the worst running games in the league into a solid one. He didn't show a lot of big-time speed or playmaking ability, but he did provide what this offense needed most and that was a big back who could pound it between the tackles. After Lynch, the Bills' depth is scarce."

Thirteenth? That's fair for a line and a running back with only one decent season under its belt. I even think the criticism that he didn't show big-time speed is true. And it's all how you define playmaking ability. Lynch had trouble cracking the big runs, but unlike Willis had a real sense for when to lower his head and get the extra yard for the first down. Here's the line that kills me: "After Lynch, the Bills' depth is scarce." In an article that waxes poetic about Michael Bush, Darren Sproles, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Pierre Thomas, to not mention Fred "The Head" Jackson is simply bad reporting. I'm not sold on Fred Jackson yet, but he's worth more than Green gave him.

Buffalo: Hockey or Football Town?

2008-06-22T12:18:00.000-04:00

DiCesare and Cimperman have been going at it over whether Buffalo is a hockey or football town. It's a worthy conversation, especially in light of the Bills' struggles, the Sabres' successes, and the possibility that we'll be left with only hockey in a few years.

Cimperman looks past a lot of obvious counterarguments. Youth sports don't mean a town is a "hockey town." Otherwise, Buffalo would probably be a soccer town. Sabres lead merchandise sales because they changed their logo.

His best point is this: "It is not an either/or question. Buffalo continues to demonstrate its passion and support for both the NFL and the NHL."

But if you have to pick, go with football. Sorry C-man.

Hardy an Impact Rookie Says ESPN

2008-05-24T13:28:00.000-04:00

ESPN listed Bills WR James Hardy as the tenth rookie most likely to make an impact. Sure, it's a compliment to Hardy's size, speed, and playmaking ability. But it also show cases just how badly the Bills need help at WR. I'd love to think that the Bills don't need Hardy to be a factor in 2008, but they do.

Best case scenario for the Bills is that he develops into a red zone threat in his first year then growing into a well-rounded receiver in his second year. But expecting a first year wideout to be a playmaker is too much to ask.

Free-agents the Bills Should Sign

2008-05-11T19:03:00.000-04:00

I know we're all excited about the draft and think this team's going to the playoffs, but some well placed veterans could really help the Bills.

NFL.com had a nice rundown of the free-agents still available. I've stated my desire pick up Chris Henry, trade JP, and add Culpepper, but I love the idea of adding Jerramy Stevens or Kyle Brady to add some depth at TE. Are the Bills sold on Wendling behind Whitner? If not, Mike Doss is available. And some veteran depth at the O-line doesn't hurt anyone.

This is a young team. They could use some strong voices in the locker room, a few guys who've played those tough games, and some stability for when the injuries hit.

ESPN Gets Hot & Bothered Over Late Round Picks

2008-05-09T17:19:00.000-04:00

ESPN has now run two--count 'em two--stories on Bills' rate round picks Xavier Odom and Demetrius Bell, even splashing them both on the front of the ESPN/NFL website. Really? Are the Bills that interesting?

Actually, the story/op-ed on Bell is especially good.

Pats Spy on Bills

2008-05-07T21:11:00.000-04:00

The tapes turned over by Ex-Patriots employee, Matt Walsh, show that the Pats spied on the Bills between 2000 and 2003. Other teams victimized included Dolphins, Browns, Chargers, Steelers, and of course the Jets.

NFL Network Gives Draft High Marks

2008-05-01T19:19:00.000-04:00

The guys at the NFL network get just a little too excited about the Bills draft.

ESPN Ranks Bills' Draft #1 in AFC East

2008-04-29T14:38:00.000-04:00

SI: Bills to Challenge for Playoff Slot

2008-04-28T11:12:00.002-04:00

Lombardi on SI.com sees the Bills as flying under the radar, challenging for a playoff spot. (See #4.) If the Bills can stay healthy, I totally agree. Biggest danger? Injuries along an O-line that lacks depth.

Oh, and Mel Kiper gave the Bills a C+ for their draft. I find Kiper's analysis to be borderline irrelevant. The only team to get an A or A- was the Chiefs and Kiper seems far more concerned with the Bills' Day 2 drafting than their haul on Day 1. Two thoughts. 1) This looks like the curve at law schools. 2) Maybe I should change my subscription from ESPN to SI.

Bills Take Chris Ellis

2008-04-27T10:42:00.003-04:00

You know as much as I do, but that they didn't grab Avril was a bit of a shock. The guy strikes me as a boom or bust player. He needs to bulk up, dump some character issues, and stop getting injured. He does that, and he's a beast. Check out his college tape. The main problem as I see is that he plays light. Rushes more like a strong side linebacker than defensive end. Also, I'm concerned with his high tackles and some personal fouls he's picked up in games. The Bills have drafted two guys with character flags. Could be fine, but character and leadership are intimately tied. Negatives aside, one thing to really like about the guy is that he'll probably contribute as a rookie in passing situations. The Bills are taking a win-now approach taking guys who are ready to play and keeping Losman on the roster. I dig that.

I also think this really solidifies what Bennett was saying earlier. The Bills truly and honestly believe that they have the answer at TE. I totally disagree, but there you have it.

Pre-Day 2 Draft Thoughts

2008-04-27T08:43:00.004-04:00

Hardy: "I told [Jauron] I was the right guy for that spot. But he told me he really didn't feel I was going to be available in the second round." So, basically, the Bills were going CB or at least not WR in the first round. Bravo! They totally snowed the national media. Love it!

Jerry Sullivan: "Heck, I probably couldn’t pick either of the new players out of a lineup." Jerry, please talk about picking two black football players out of a lineup, especially when one has had legal trouble. It's not offensive, just weird.

Everyone is penciling in McKelvin opposite McGee. I'm not convinced that the answer isn't Greer and McKelvin. Whatever the solution, I think McGee is either going to return kicks or play CB. Not both.

I'm happy someone finally called the Patriots on a bad draft called the Patriots on a bad draft. Kiper was beside himself with the Mayo pick, one they could have had 5 slots later, at least. On the other hand, it seems like Clayton thought that a good draft meant having either two first round picks or the first pick overall. I think the Bills deserve some recognition for getting the top CB and arguably the best WR in the draft while hitting their two biggest need areas. If not the best WR, they certainly had their choice with Sweed and Kelly still on the board. And while the run on WRs lasted until late into the second round, the run on CBs did not. The well was dry before the Bills picked at the tenth slot in the second frame. Good thing they went CB and then WR, not the reverse.

So, what's to be expected in the next five rounds today? I think ESPN's on the money with TE Brad Cottam in Round 3. If that's the case, it kills me that they didn't go up and get Martellus Bennett before the Cowboys did. But it's best player available for the Bills from here on out. I'd love it if OLB Dan Connor fell to the Bills. Picking up another big WR like LSU's Early Doucet would be fun. The Bills might be looking for a replacement for Fowler and thus go for Steven Justice. But here's my pick: DE Cliff Avril. They need help with Hargrove gone and player rotation is what won the NY Giants the Super Bowl.

Hardy on Tape

2008-04-26T19:51:00.001-04:00

Check out the catch at 20 seconds: Beastly!

McKelvin on Tape

2008-04-26T19:42:00.001-04:00

Post-Draft Report from ESPN

Pre-Draft Report from ESPN

YouTube Clips

Round 2

2008-04-26T19:18:00.002-04:00

Bennett: they wanted the biggest receiver. they got the biggest one.

Riley: this was unbelievable. they had Malcolm Kelly, Limas Sweed, and James Hardy all there in Round 2. They got the player they wanted, though I'm not sure why Sweed and Kelly weren't the answer.

Bennett: effort problems sometimes. that has to be a concern. but dude, he's enormous. you have to wonder why, if this was the guy the bills wanted, they didn't go up and get him. did they really want devin thomas and just settle? or did they want one of the other wrs who went earlier? they clearly weren't interested in a te. they think royal's the answer.

Riley: I'm concerned with his character issues.

Bennett: that's great. i can't wait for him to do blow before the game.

Round 1

2008-04-26T15:20:00.017-04:00

Bennett: my wife doesn't want to reveal her sources...but she says that baltimore won't take a qb at #8, even though atlanta took ryan at #3. we'll see how it plays out. (3:21 EST)

Bennett: stop texting me, bitch. that costs like 15 cents a minute! (3:31)

Riley: ESPN sort of agrees with your wife. It's either OL or CB for the Ravens at #8. Problem for the Bills is that either one sucks. If the Bills want to trade back, having a top OL there is more appealing that a CB. But if you want the top CB... (3:33)

Bennett: i'm in the rite-aid and my son just crapped his pants. we don't have any wipes. (3:40)

Riley: Great. Thanks for sharing. Jets take Gholston at #6. As a Bills fan, I like this pick. I think Gholston is overrated and his work-ethic will really cost him in the NFL. Plus, I wasn't looking forward to facing McFadden twice a year. (3:46)

Riley: If they pick Devin Thomas, I'm going to be sick. (4:17)

Bennett: bills got the #1 cb in the draft. i like it. and remember that you're on a team that has to face randy moss twice a year. (4:19)

Riley: Sigh of relief. I wish they'd traded back, but I love the pick. I think it gives them instant help, suddenly turns their defensive backfield into a strenght. The key now is to find a WR and a TE with only two picks left in the first day. Do you go WR or TE in Round 2? (4:19)

Bennett: i'm going to go tell my neighbor that the raiders drafted some guy they shouldn't have drafted in the first round. let's see if he freaks out. ... dude just dropped his groceries and warded off al davis for the next six months. (4:35)

Riley: Guys on the NFL Network are calling him, "McLovin." Let it be known that we have YaBooty and McLovin in the backfield. Nothing to be done about McGee, Whitner, Simpson, Greer, and James. (4:51)

Riley: Bills really need to try to move up a few picks in the second round to grab one of those top WRs. Also, if it makes y'all feel better, here's an article saying that CBs grabbed at the 11th spot are safe picks. (4:54)

Bennett: need to change diarrhea diaper. oh. it's horrible. might have gone through the outfit. might be a six wiper. let's see if i can do it in three... (5:14)

Riley: That was just nasty. Totally unnecessary. Sort of like the Lions taking some dude I've never heard of. (5:15)

Riley: Brothers are going crazy. No WRs taken after Dallas and Tennessee have made their picks. But when there's a run, there will probably be a run. Fingers crossed, people. (6:01)

Bennett: cowboys traded 6th round and 7th round to move up three slots in the first round. so, if the bills can find a willing partner we can cash in those three seventh rounders and some of those sixth rounder to move up five or six slots in the second round. (6:03)

Riley: Brothers are off on a tangent. They are now discussing Entenmann's. I'm pounding back some cookies. Childhood memories of dad bringing home raspberry danish after soccer. Good shit. And Kosher too. This run on non-WRs is simply amazing. Amazing. Has this ever happened before? Could there be no WRs in the first round? (6:11)

Bennett: thinking about wr here. clearly there will be one of the top 5 wrs available. bills better pick one. and it better not be deshaun jackson, aka roscoe parrish. (6:36)

Riley: Incredible. Not a single WR in 31 picks. And the fastest first round since 1990. I wouldn't be shocked if Miami started with grabbing with a WR here. But they also have needs at OT and QB. So, let's hope that WRs keep falling. Keep in mind they could also grab a good TE at this slot. And the Bills could trade up. Amazingly, the Bills are in an incredible slot. If things go south, they have no one to blame but themselves. (6:39)

ESPN to Bills: Your First-Round Drafting Sucks

2008-04-26T11:50:00.000-04:00

A harsh critique of past Bills' drafts by Mark Sando on ESPN misses the point. Three of the Bills' past four picks have started over 80% of their games. And there's strong arguments that all three are Pro Bowl material.

The critique also fails as (and I really hate the dude) McGahee has gone on to become a very capable starting RB. So the only clear flop on the list is Losman. I fail to see the difference between this and the much praised Jets drafting other than the lineman v. skill position.

And this isn't even getting into the arbitrary 5-year distinction and the fact that there are three different drafting regimes at play.

Eagles Trying to Move Up

2008-04-26T08:47:00.000-04:00

Report coming from ESPN has the Eagles looking to move from 19 to the 10-15 range in the first round of the draft. Ummm, yes please.

Bills swap with Eagles. Get Sheppard. Then draft a wide receiver. That's probably a fantasy as the Bills a) would have to throw in a second rounder at least and b) pay Sheppard more money than they want to.

Nevertheless. It's out there.

Top WRs Labeled as Busts on ESPN

2008-04-26T08:38:00.001-04:00

NFL Roundtable pegs Devin Thomas and Malcolm Kelly as busts:

Draft Day 2008

2008-04-26T08:15:00.002-04:00

Draft Day is finally here. Bennett and Riley will be discussing the Bills side of the draft throughout the day, so check back in throughout the day for instant-commentary.

Just to get things rolling, I'm totally shocked that Mel Kiper has Derrick Harvey going to Kansas City at #5. I think this is further proof that this draft is totally wack. No one has any idea what's going on. Devin Thomas is the #1 WR, but he was labeled the most likely bust in the draft by an ESPN roundtable. Who was the #2 most likely bust? Malcolm Kelly, the #2 WR. Derrick Harvey, the top DE in the drop, has climbed all the way from a late first rounder to a #5 pick in the last couple weeks. And just try asking who the #1 CB in the draft is.

What does this all mean? I think the Bills should trade out of the first round completely. Pick up a next year first rounder and an early second rounder. Plenty of terrific CBs and WRs to be had in the second rounder, plus the Bills will find their all-around TE.

Brothers' Mock Draft

2008-04-21T14:59:00.001-04:00

The Brothers weigh in on who they think the Bills will draft.

Bennett
1st Round: CB Rodgers-Cromartie, 6'10", 184 lbs., Tennessee State
2nd Round: WR Jordy Nelson, 6'2" 217 lbs., Kansas State

Riley
1st Round: WR Devin Thomas, 6'1", 216 lbs., Michigan State
2nd Round: CB Antoine Cason, 6'0", 191 lbs., Arizona
3rd Round: TE Martellus Bennett, 6'6", 259 lbs., Texas A&M

Riley's Commentary: The Bills should go with Rodgers-Cromartie in the first round and hope Malcolm Kelly or another big WR falls into the early second round. A good TE will be there in the third round. Rumors that they'll grab an OT in the second round scares me. Imagine the Bills going DE, OT, TE on the first day. Makes me sick just to think about it. Also, watch out for draft day trades. Between Chad Johnson, Lito Shepperd, and JP Losman, there are some deals to be done. I think Shepperd for a 2nd Rounder and a 5th Rounder (same as DeAngelo Hall) is the most likely of the bunch.

Culpepper?

2008-04-09T21:07:00.001-04:00

A quick e-mail exchange between the brothers:

Riley: Trade JP for a pack of bacon. Sign Culpepper to a 1 yr. 1-2 million dollar deal.

Bennett: don't think it'll happen...culpepper still wants to be a starter...

Riley: But if you're Culpepper, nobody's going to hand you the starting job outright...might not even get the chance to compete for it. Best chance is to line up behind a young guy and hope he a) gets injured or b) falters.

But I hear what you're saying. I think we're going to have real problems getting Evans open this year. But I just don't seen spending a #1 as a response to that. Should have signed Jerry Porter.

Bennett: can't stand jerry porter...but that's probably because he single-handedly ruined a couple of my fantasy teams over the years...

no way culpepper's going to sign behind a young guy like edwards...and no way the bills would look to sign a dude like that who still desperately wants to start...they'll sign someone who's cool being a backup...like a gus ferrotte or something...and culpepper will head somewhere where they at least publicly claim the qb competition is "open"...

if they don't go wr or te in round one or two, i will be shocked...you need to give evans SOME help...

Thug Life

2008-04-07T17:17:00.005-04:00

1) Chris Henry, the Bengals lanky wide receiver and all time leader in arrest warrants, was finally released by Cinci after busting up some chump's face, leaving the brothers to ponder if the Bills shouldn't give a thug a chance.

2) The Bills head into the draft with a pocketful of picks and glaring needs at wideout, corner, and tight end. Riley thinks the Bills should keep rebuilding that D-Line, while Bennett's sure a top notch corner would make all the difference to Buffalo's porous defense.

3) A year after doing nailing Britney, Matt Leinart gets caught partying with underage girls at his pad in Arizona. Yeah, we're talking Jacuzzi, beer bongs, all the good stuff. Don't believe it? Check the link.

4) The Bills playing up North has been in the works for a while now, and the brothers are ready to weigh in on whether this is good for the team. Is it savvy marketing, or just a precursor to a permanent move to TO?

5) Riley's obsessed with handicapped stalls. Spacious, well-appointed...what's not to like? But what about the threat of getting caught. Is it worth the risk? The brothers debate.

6) The Sabres season is finally, mercifully over. While there's not much to admire about the 07-08 campaign, there is that one bright spot: the advertisements on MSG. From organ donation to vein surgery to limp wood remedies, there's something for everyone.

Adding and Subtracting

2008-03-11T16:06:00.004-04:00

1) The Bills made a splash by landing defensive beefcake Marcus Stroude from the Jags. While the brothers aren't convinced the former all pro will return to form, they are convinced management is heading in the right direction.

2) Word is out that the Bills didn't call a single audible in all of 2007. Don't believe it? It's true! Turns out the coaches didn't trust their pair of young qb's to do the deed. The brothers are justifiably horrified.

3) Bennett's just returned from the dentist with a new tooth and a face full of paralysis. But instead of being down, he's ready to add the dentist to his list of stuff that he digs...that other people don't dig. Listen in for the complete list. Airplane food is yummy!

4) JP finally lost his job for good, and now he rests squarely on the trading block. Bills fans are hoping to score a first day draft pick for the mentally challenged signal caller, but the brothers believe that's just wishful thinking. What can the Bills expect to get back for #7?

5) The Bills have been cutting and adding that roster, and Riley and Bennett have plenty of opinions. Where have you gone, Kiwaukee Thomas? Sniff, sniff.

Philly Finale

2008-01-03T11:10:00.000-05:00

1) The Bills laid a stinker in Philly to end the season at a disappointing 7-9, but the brothers manage to find a couple bright spots out there in unheralded Bryan Scott and Division III graduate John DiGiorgio.

2) Sixteen weeks ago, Riley and Bennett made their season predictions. Now that the season's over, how do those predictions look? And can we call a 7-9 season a success?

3) Bennett's not much for politics, but he's got something to say about Benazir Bhutto and all that Pakastani business. His advice to Bhutto's son: stay in school, kid!

4) The brothers hand out a few end of season awards, high-lighted by the "Mike Gandy Award," doled out to the player who, well, sucked the most.

5) Bennett's lot of "Rejected Christmas Gifts" is up to thirty bucks, but the brothers' parents are none too pleased about their kids regifting and recycling. Oh, so we should just take that mustard-colored lanyard and stick it in the back of the closet for the next fifty years?

6) A 7-9 team has more than a few holes to fill, and Riley knows where the most gaping one lies: right in between the defensive ends. Will new Bills management recognize where the team needs help? Let's hope so.

Merry Christmas: Giants Maul Bills

2007-12-28T20:48:00.000-05:00

1) The Bills started strong against the Giants, then stud guard Jason Peters (he who brought his nuts) headed to the locker room with a groin injury. What happened next? The Bills got rolled, with the left side of the offensive line looking "as open as Brittney's yawning vijajay." That ain't good.

2) Christmas is the time for good cheer, heavy drinking, and getting unwanted gifts from friends and relatives. What does one do with all that unwanted crap? Ebay, baby! And just wait until you hear what Bennett gave Riley a few years back. Bah-bah black sheep, have you any wool?

3) The Bills signed return ace Roscoe Parrish to a long-term deal to the tune of twelve million dollars over four years. Is the blue smurf worth the big bucks, or is this yet another bad decision from Marv and the gang?

4) Did you hear about the tiger who jumped a thirty foot moat and ripped some teenager's head off at the San Fran zoo the other day? Tragedy? Nah. Justice. Don't fuck with tigers.

5) With respect and draft order at stake, the Bills head to Philly and a date with Brian Westbrook. Will the Bills claim a .500 record, or will fold and look ahead to a juicy early to mid first round selection?

Snowed Under

2007-12-20T15:30:00.001-05:00

1) The Bills playoff run hit the skids in snowy Cleveland on Sunday. What should have been a meaningful playoff game looked more like what Bennett calls "Tony Montana's Christmas party." It wasn't pretty; neither was the Bills performance. The brothers single out Lee Evans and Steve Fairchild for their nut-less play.

2) Who knew a conversation about douches could inspire a barrage of emails from wideright listeners, with one listener going so far as to propose a line of NFL endorsed feminine hygiene products. Listen in for details on the "terrible tampon" and other NFL goods the brothers would like to see.

3) Fred Jackson has busted onto the Bills scene this season, and with his emergence come two dueling nick-names. Should he be Fred "Action" Jackson, or Fred "Head" Jackson? Riley and Bennett weigh in.

4) The pro bowl roster was announced this week, and only freakish O-lineman Jason Peters is making the trek to Hawaii. Riley and Bennett give kudos to Peters, and discuss which Bills are on the cusp of pro bowl status.

5) The New York Football Giants come to The Ralph this Sunday. Unlike the Bills, little boy Manning and his overrated crew have something to play for. Will they leave with a playoff birth secured, or get snowed under by the resilient Bills squad looking to secure a winning record?

Bills Grill Stinky Fish

2007-12-10T18:32:00.000-05:00

1) The Dolphins came into The Ralph looking for their first win of the season. And then promptly got spanked by a nasty Bills squad trying to make a playoff run. But what's with those guys on the Miami sideline holding up bath towels? Listen in for the details.

2) Wendy's has replaced dead Dave Thomas with some creepy, pale faced geek in a Wendy's 'do. The brothers aren't feeling it. Bring back Dave, even if the dude is dead.

3) A month ago, Riley and Bennett wondered if the Pats and Dolphins could remain perfect for an entire season. Hindsight's 20/20. How do those predictions look now?

4) Bennett doesn't understand certain feminine hygiene products. Thankfully for him, his wife is around to shed a little light. But what do the homeless have to do with douches? It's complicated.

5) The Bills are 7-6, and now a serious contender for the final wild card spot in the AFC. But what are their chances, really? Riley, the stat man, breaks it down for you.

6) Fourteen weeks ago, Buffalo/Cleveland looked like a game to determine the first pick in the draft. Now it's a playoff game, one the brothers see going down very differently.

50th Podcast: The Cleto Ruis Dias Episode

2007-12-03T17:10:00.000-05:00

1) Riley repents and the brothers clash over McGee's performance Sunday as Nuts and Straps get handed out.

2) Speaking of nuts, Bennett's been fathering children like Cleto Ruis Dias. Is it time to get snipped?

3) Lindell sails a 36 yard kick wide right. Gibbs doesn't call a second time out. Edwards doesn't throw a bullet to Josh Reed for 30 yards. What if this game had come out differently? What would the headlines be?

4) Joe Gibbs decided to reassure Bills fans that they don't have the worst coach in the league (though there's some argument for Cam Cameron). By trying to twice-ice the kicker, Gibbs put the game on ice for the Bills.

5) The 0-12 Dolphins roll into the Ralph next weekend. It's a must-win and a gimme-win for the Bills. It makes Riley nervous, but Bennett predicts big things for the suddenly resurrgent Bills. Are the playoffs in order?

JV Losman, R.I.P.

2007-11-27T21:19:00.000-05:00

1) JP was JV, and the Bills imploded in their loss to the Jags. But what about that Fred Jackson? The brothers like what they've seen. FJ is mini-beast mode.

2) Riley's heading in for his "adjustment of status interview" this week. Gerard Depardieu, eat your heart out. Or something like that.

3) Bennett's new baby arrived a month early, and everyone except for old man grandpa is psyched. And if you're wondering, the west coast Wide Right Radio correspondent was there to see it all. Business end.

4) No question the Sean Taylor incident is tragic, but the brothers are more focused on Taylor's weapon of choice: the machete. Sweet.

5) The Bills head to the nation's capital for a showdown with the Skins. Will Marshawn be back in the line-up? Will Trent Edwards make a difference? Will the Bills hang around in the playoff race for yet another week?

Belichick to Bills: Take That

2007-11-19T19:11:00.000-05:00

1) When you lose by forty-six points, there aren't a lot of guys who brought their nuts. The straps, however, are aplenty.

2) At 5-5, the Bills are sitting on the edge of the playoff race. But do they even belong in such talk? Is this a good team, one worthy of praise following a four game win streak? Or is this a bad team, one rightfully disrobed on national television?

3) Jauron's already named Losman the starter for next week. While Riley's been done with JP for a few weeks now, Bennett's willing to give the kid one more shot down in Florida before pulling the plug for good.

4) With the Bills getting blown out in the second half, the brothers both found time to do a few things around the house. Sesame Street, anyone?

5) Thanksgiving's coming up, and neither brother is too pleased. Bennett's headed for an afternoon of Honest Abe and shit salad, while Riley's preparing for a day of leisurely chick-flick viewing. The horror.

6) Buffalo goes to Jacksonville to face a tough team looking to solidify its hold on a playoff spot. Can JP, in what might be his last shot in the saddle, nut it up, or will JP be JV and send the Bills into a late season slide?

Beast Mode Squishes Fish

2007-11-15T20:06:00.000-05:00

1) Marshawn Lynch yet again went into "beast mode," handing the Dolphins another cruel defeat. While the brothers acknowledge the beast's stellar performance, they wonder why the old JV Losman decided to rear his ugly head. Even the brothers' dear old mom was horrified by the California kid's performance.

2) Miami could be headed for sixteen straight losses, while New England's could be headed for sixteen straight wins. Who will achieve perfection? Riley's convinced The Pats will get there, while Bennett's sure Miami has a goose egg in its sights.

3) Last year an assistant coach for the Detroit Lions got busted for rolling naked through a Wendy's drive through. Did the story end there? Nah. It just keeps getting better. Listen in for the details.

4) Miami defensive tackle Fred Weary was tasered (or is it "tased?") by police during a traffic dispute. Now Mr. Weary is suing, claiming something about how it didn't feel so good to get juiced with a couple hundred thousand volts. The brothers don't want to hear it. They like tasers. So should you.

5) The undefeated Patriots come into Buffalo for a nationally televised night game. Unfortunately for the Bills, beast mode will be relegated to towel waving from the sideline. Yeah, bummer. Yet somehow, Bennett still thinks the Bills will pull this one off. Do you believe in miracles? Yes!

Smash-Mouth Football

2007-11-05T18:55:00.000-05:00

1) The Bills scored an impressive victory over Chad Johnson and the Bengals on Sunday. Somehow, Riley and Bennett dole out the strap to a dude who scored on a 101 yard return. Confused? Hang in there.

2) Adrian Peterson has another gear, but Marshawn Lynch has "beast mode." Just what exactly is beast mode and what does it mean for the brothers? Listen in for the details.

3) JP had one of his best games as a Bill, but did he do enough to win back his job? Riley's convinced it's Edwards's team, while Bennett thinks JP could make a strong case for himself with a win over the Pats in two weeks. But will he even be playing in that game?

4) Chad Johnson talked some smack, dropped a bunch of balls, then got carted off the field complaining of neck pain and reaching for the Icy/Hot. Was the injury legit, or was the king of trash talk just faking it?

5) Some crappy ass driving school is using Bennett's driveway to instruct beginning drivers on the finer points of the three point turn. Not cool.

6) The Bills head to Miami to face a desperate, winless Dolphin team.Can the Bills stay hot and put up their fourth "W" in a row, or will the fish bring the boys from Buffalo back to reality?

Grounding the Jets

2007-10-29T18:55:00.000-04:00

1) Okay, so it wasn't pretty. It wasn't even interesting. But it was a victory. The Bills players should be thrilled, except maybe punter Brian Moorman, who moped his way to his worst game as a Bill and a double strap.

2) Just when we thought we'd seen the last of JP, he comes in and stuns the Jets with an eighty-five yard bomb to win the game. Does JP's performance change anything, or is Edwards still the main man? And was the strike to Evans a great play call, or just a lucky break? The brothers debate.

3) With Marshawn Lynch a main component of Riley's successful fantasy team, Riley's more than capable of assessing the various Bills and their fantasy outlook. As for Bennett, he quit fantasy football cold turkey years ago when his addiction got ugly. Listen if for the details.

4) Bennett's been taking some serious heat for his son's ensembles. When are pants not just pants? And should he be color-coordinating his son's outfits?

5) The once mighty Bengals travel to The Ralph looking to prove they're better than their marginal record. Will the Bills offense be able to step up and keep pace with Carson Palmer and the gang?

Hair-raising Victory

2007-10-25T19:44:00.000-04:00

1) The Bills D finally stepped up in the fourth quarter last Sunday, shutting down the Ravens and leading the Bills to a tight victory. It's only fitting that Riley and Bennett hand out nuts to two members of the defensive unit who were instrumental.

2) With the Jets, Bengals, and Fish all ahead in the next month, the brothers wonder if the Bills could actually make a run and be waiting for New England at 5-4. Probable? Nah. Possible? Well, anything's possible.

3) The Sabres are struggling. Do they miss Briere and Drury? You bet. Bennett's watched the first eight games and deems the Sabres "Euro pusses." If there's a bright spot, however, it's Brian Campbell's, uh, advertising work. Listen in for the scoop.

4) Bennett's woman is pregnant and getting harrier by the day. You want details of his wife's ever-growing fu manchu beard? We got 'em.

5) The Bills head to the Meadowlands as three point underdogs. Will Chad Pennington exact revenge for the close defeat at The Ralph a few weeks back, or will Trent Edwards and the Bills finally put two wins together?

Monday Night Meltdown

2007-10-18T20:45:00.000-04:00

1) The Bills suffered a crushing, inconceivable Monday night loss to the Cowboys. The brothers are convinced that anytime you lead for an entire game and lose on the last play, it's got to be coaching. Nice going, Dick!

2) Devastated Bills fans are wondering just where this loss ranks in the pantheon of horrific Bills losses. Wide Right? Harmon Drops the Ball? Monday Night Meltdown? Listen in for the order. If you can stomach it.

3) Dick and Ralph have decided to hand over the reigns to rookie Trent Edwards. Riley's ready to send JP packing, while Bennett thinks surfer boy deserves one more chance to ride the wave.

4) Bennett's having trouble with his wife's laundry. For some reason he can't tell an arm hole from a neck hole from a leg hole. Huh?

5) The Bills are looking to play a couple games up in Toronto to expand the fan base. Good idea? The brothers think so.

6) Willis McGahee and the vaunted Ravens D come to The Ralph for a Sunday afternoon visit. Can T. Edwards and the gang get a W? And is Willis the most hated Bill in Bills history?

Bills Bust the Nut

2007-10-04T17:43:00.000-04:00

1) Rookies Trent Edwards and Marshawn Lynch led the way for the Bills last Sunday, but the brothers have a couple other guys in mind when it comes to handing out the nuts.

2) Chad Pennington worked the fake spike to perfection on Sunday, resulting in a last second field goal try and Riley getting pissed. Should the fake spike be outlawed? What about the last-minute "ice the kicker" time-out? Snore. The brothers debate.

3) Jet games bring out the best in Bills fans, including an astounding eleven arrests after Sunday's contest at The Ralph. Getting smashed and getting arrested, now that's a good time...especially when it's your dear old dad going down.

4) Michael Vick's back in the news, this time for doing community service hours at the local PETA branch. While Riley's not so sure this is a good idea, Bennett's already got his #7 "Meat is Murder" jersey pre-ordered.

5) Wade Phillips and the vaunted Cowboys offense show up to give The Ralph some Monday night bling. Will T.O. and the gang blow away the depleted Bills D, or can the hometown crew somehow keep it close?